Our Grandfathers Were Right

I walked into the drug store, the smell of sterility mixed with linoleum slapping me in the face. I was surprised at how many people were there. It was well into the evening, yet there seemed to be tens of people there. However, there seemed to be a lack of employees. Maybe everyone was on lunch?

I scanned the banners marking the aisles. Makeup, skin care, cold medicine, family planing. I began walking towards the aforementioned section, nervously tucking my hands into my pockets. I wondered if people were already judging me, maybe they could tell where I was rushing to.

As I came up to the aisle, I slowed my pace. I scanned the displays and I felt mocked. Condoms took up most of the shelf and the pregnancy tests were at the very end. I was forced to walk by all precautions I had failed to take as I made my way to the tests.

My eyes immediately went to the generic brand, but I was taken aback by the price. I thought the generic brand was supposed to be cheap, but they were only one dollar shy of name brand.

I looked around me. The pharmacy was closed and the only employee here was up at the register reading a display magazine. Without thinking, I grabbed the test and stuffed it into my jacket pocket.

I calmly walked to the front of the store, smiling at the cashier on my way out. I cringed as the cold breeze hit me. Luckily, Taisuke only lived a twenty minute walk from here. However, I couldn’t just show up to his house without evidence.

I walked into the grocery store beside the drug store and slipped into their bathroom. It was surprisingly clean, it looked like someone had just come in and cleaned it. I locked the door behind me and pulled the test out of my pocket. I opened the box and read the instructions carefully. It was simple, just pee on the test strip and wait.

I did just that, placing the test on the edge of the bathroom sink. As I placed balanced the test on the edge, I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. My hair was falling out of it’s ponytail and my eyes bore dark circles. Despite this, my face was smooth and free of wrinkles and my eyeliner was uneven. I was wearing the shirt from my marching band trip last spring and my jeans had paint stains from helping my brother paint his senior parking spot. Nothing about me screamed mother.

I shook myself out of the funk. I don’t know how long I stared at the reflection but it was long enough that the test was done. I eagerly grabbed the test and examined the results. I brought it up to my face, straining my eyes to see that faint pink plus sign.

“Fuck!” I threw the test against the wall. It bounced on to the floor, the results now facing the floor. My stomach twisted into a knot. I couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just paranoia, that I was actually pregnant. I had only been dating Taisuke for one month, I figured there was no chance he’d stick around. What kind of teenage boy is okay with having a kid?

I left the bathroom, not bothering to pick up the test, and ran out of the store. I continued to run all the way to Taisuke’s house. My thoughts were racing with a million questions. What was going to happen to Taisuke and I? What would my parents think? What would the kids at school think? I thought that maybe if I ran, I could out run the reality of the situation. However, as I approached Taisuke’s house, it became even more real.

I was lucky enough that his parents’ car wasn’t in the driveway, so other than his sisters, I’d have the house to the two of us. I walked up to the front door and slowly knocked. I heard shuffling on the other end and muffled female voices.

The door opened and I was met with Taisuke’s sister, Lucy. When she saw me, her face lit up. She turned her head and said something to her brother in Japanese.

“Jess is here?” I heard him say.

Lucy turned back to me and gave me a small bow before beckoning me in. I smiled at her and stepped inside, shutting the door behind me. I kicked off my shoes and followed Lucy into the living room.

Taisuke and his other sister, Mary, were sat on the floor playing Monopoly. Taisuke stood up from the floor and cheerfully made his way over to greet me, oblivious to me nerves. He grabbed my hands and planted a kiss on my lips.

“What’s going on?” he asked, his usual boyish smile on his face.

“Um, we need to talk,” I whispered, “alone.”

Taisuke’s smile faded. He looked back at his sister then back to me before nodding.

I followed him upstairs to his bedroom. I could hear the not so quiet whispering of his sisters as we walked. I assumed they were talking badly about me, why else would they be trying to whisper?

When we arrived to his room, Taisuke shut the door and faced me. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Um,” I looked away from him, “not really.”

Taisuke’s face fell. “Was-was it something I did? I’m so sorry if I upset you, I-“

“No. No, Taisuke, you’ve been great. It’s just, well,” I took a deep breath and forced myself to make eye contact, “I’m pregnant.”

Taisuke’s distressed expression became confused. “Pregnant?” I couldn’t tell if he genuinely didn’t know the meaning of the word or if he was in disbelief. Taisuke looked away, still confused. He repeated the word back to himself a couple times.

“Y’know, when you’re gonna have a baby?” I supplied, “I’m having your baby, Taisuke!”

Taisuke was suddenly hit with the realization. “You’re pregnant?!” He screamed.

“Keep your voice down, Jesus!” I yelled back, “but, yes, I’m pregnant.”

“B-B-But you’re only sixteen!”

“Well technically I’ll be seventeen when they’re born,” I pointed out.

Taisuke turned away from me and ran his hand through his hair. He began muttering to himself in Japanese and tugging on his hair. Despite not knowing Japanese, I believe the gist of what he was saying was ‘I’m so screwed’.

Finally, after a few minutes of freakout, Taisuke turned back to me. He took a deep breath in and sighed. “Okay, what happens now?”

“Well,” I sat down on his bed, “I want to go to the doctor to be sure.”

Taisuke sat down beside me. “Do your parents know?”

“No. I took the test half a hour ago.”

Taisuke nodded. “I can take you tomorrow.”

“It’ll show up on my parent’s insurance,” I pointed out.

“I’ll pay out of pocket,” Taisuke offered.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“But it’s my kid too,” Taisuke placed his hand on to of mine, “and I love you.”

I looked down at our hands. I had expected him to freak out, maybe even break things off. But I should’ve known, that isn’t Taisuke.

I moved my hand out and fell back on the bed. “My parents are going to kill me.”

Taisuke copied my actions, letting his head fall mere inches from mine. He stayed silent as he stared blankly at the ceiling. I could tell that he was loosing his cool internally, but I didn’t want to prod.

“Where are we going to stay?” I asked with a strained voice.

Taisuke didn’t respond, I’m not even sure if he heard me. He knew I didn’t have room at my house, I was already sharing a room with three other people, there was no way a baby would fit in there too.

“We’ll…We can stay here,” Taisuke said finally, “my parents won’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” If I were his parents, I wouldn’t be too keen on my son’s girlfriend and her teen pregnancy baby staying in our home.

“No. But..” He trailed off. I didn’t know much about Japanese culture, but I do know that Taisuke being the oldest son, a lot of pressure was on him to make the right decisions, to build his family’s lineage. I felt horrible that I was the one to ruin that for him.

“But we’ll figure it out,” I rolled over on my side so I could look him in the face, “we’ll figure it out.” I kept on a brave face for him.

Taisuke’s eyes fell over to face me, his face softened and a small smile came to his face. “Yeah, we’ll figure it out.”